By John W.
Those clowns said “You are as sick as your secrets,”
What did they know, his were “confidences to be kept.”
Of course they were of matters important, and of regrets,
But their memory he addressed only alone, silently as he wept.
So why the need to pull the scabs off of these old wounds?
The solace gained from his private affirmations was enough.
No need to “go public,” to raise these dead from their tombs.
“No” this was too much to ask, this suggestion just too tough.
But the affirmation to go to any lengths was at him gnawing
Eroding the peace in his days, the calm of his dreams.
Like “The Tell-Tale Heart” it beat, always time marking.
Its acme so, ‘twas though his soul was bursting at its seams.
Try as he might, with all the self-will he could summon,
No force to quell this invading presence could he muster.
For his plight was different, unique, his sins surely uncommon
And against the suggestion of their disclosure he did bluster.
His dilemma seemed formidable, he could fathom no resolution.
His delay had been costly, as to the brink of a drink he was driven.
Goaded by a “drowning man’s despair” he had sought a solution,
“Seek only the willingness to try” had been the suggestion given.
Yet for reasons he could later neither explain nor deny,
When this “life ring” was cast, he put arrogance and pride aside,
He grasped this chance as though his last, he became willing to try
And somewhere in him, survival and humility commenced to coincide.
In the light of its telling, the darkness of his past began to wither.
The power of owning it, totally, freed him now by his admission.
He had cast off its shackles, silenced its incessant twitter,
And could see his fear now as naught but baseless apparition.
The calm that beset him as this Step he had finally taken,
He witnessed by the sobriety which ensued over years,
As it cemented his faith in a process now rarely shaken
With a gift he had before not owned, a tool to address his fears.
John R. W.
03/08/2018
To Dad – On Your 96th Birthday
May Jesus Hold You close to His Heart
