Meetings in the Bayview can be few and far between, but there is one excellent speaker discussion meeting on Saturday morning. The address is 5048 Third Street at Revere. The meeting is in a brand-new well-lit building with hot coffee and a nice array of pastry from Daly City Donuts. Arrival at 8:00 a.m. is an hour before parking restrictions are enforced. The meeting recently moved to the new Salvation Army Impact Center. This new building is open during the weekdays and is dedicated to helping people with everything from legal or financial problems to everyday domestic concerns.
Third Street
A brand-new, well-lit building with hot coffee and a nice array of pastry from Daly City Donuts
Mike M., who started the meeting in 2013, says there were no A.A. meetings in the Bayview, Excelsior or the Crocker Amazon area where he lived. He was in touch with the Salvation Army on Third Street. They actively supported 12-Step meetings and offered their storefront location for after-hours meetings. Prior to that there had been a meeting at the public library on Revere and Third but that folded. As Mike says, there may be 600 plus meetings in San Francisco but few in the Bayview.
The building is easy to find and there is ample street parking. The meeting moved around a year ago from the old Salvation Army storefront a couple blocks away. It had a much smaller meeting area with a small loft for the speaker. All in all, the Salvation Army was wonderfully supportive about starting a meeting in the Bayview. A few representatives still attend the meeting as sober A.A. members.
The speakers speak, then return for their own recovery
This is a speaker discussion meeting with two rotating secretaries who have the uncanny ability to find excellent speakers. One secretary attends West Bay Alano club searching for potential speakers. Another brings speakers from El Sobrante. Not to mention the excellent pool available in San Francisco.
There’s a strong foundation of members who regularly attend. Judith K. has been sober since 1981. She says there was one N.A. meeting in the Bayview when she moved there in 2012. She came to the Salvation Army storefront location for many years. It was makeshift, but it was a meeting and that was what she needed.
Steve R. is also a regular on Saturday mornings. He came along with Mike to those first meetings when there were only three or four people. Steve says many who now attend started out first as speakers, since Wake Up is a speaker discussion meeting. When he was the secretary/ speaker-getter, many of the speakers came from the Hilldwellers Monday evening meeting on Potrero Hill. This is a theme with the speakers: they speak and then return for their own recovery.
The regulars also include those with single digit recovery. Brad O. discovered Wake Up after completing his 30 days. He also just completed a secretary stint. There’s Jamey R., the coffee maker extraordinaire, who supplies the delicious Top of the Hill Cafe donuts. Jamey says the timing is perfect as she comes over from Daly City. Eight o’clock in the morning works for her exercise schedule. If you are looking for meeting to start your weekend, Wake Up on Third is a great choice. Easy parking, great coffee, donuts and terrific speakers to aid you along on your path to recovery.
Seeing the Nave in Grace Cathedral full of excited sober alcoholics was an amazing experience. This year’s Sobriety by the Bay Conference held meetings in a historic and beautiful location. Gathering with alcoholics who traveled from all over the Bay Area made for an electric atmosphere. You could feel the gratitude!
Kent C. gave a powerful share on Saturday night. It was great to be able to laugh and hear a strong message of recovery at the same time. Other speakers, including Paco D., Nichole L., and Steve B., all gave engaging shares each touching on how special it is to bring our A.A. community together.
The nave in Grace Cathedral was full of excited sober alcoholics
We have had incredible speakers come from all over the country to share their experience, strength and hope. Clancy I., Ben W., Teresa F., Lyle P. and Bob D. are just some of the speakers who have devoted their time. The combination of dynamic speakers and A.A.’s primary purpose of helping alcoholics are the foundations for this special three-day conference in San Francisco.
The fourth step workshop lead by Paco D. was full of both oldtimers and newcomers. Everyone came together to put pen to paper and get into action. Many members donated sponsorships to alcoholics who could not afford to get into the conference.
Grace Cathedral Labyrinth
Putting pen to paper, getting into action
This generosity allowed recovery centers in the San Francisco area to bus over newcomers to the workshop. Many of them had their first taste of working the steps this way. Some of them even left with sponsors.
The Sobriety by the Bay Committee would like to thank all the members who participated and attended the 2020 Conference. The conference was extremely successful, and due to your effort and enthusiasm, we were able to donate $3,398.00 this year to San Francisco Central Office.
Since 2017, Sobriety by the Bay has donated a total of $10,799.00. The committee is looking forward to the 2021 Conference. We will be back at Grace Cathedral and Chris R. will be the main speaker. We would love to see new faces and our hope is to continue the growth we have been having since 2017.
If you would like to be involved with the conference, please reach out to [email protected]
Someone told me eight months ago it was time to take a leap of faith. God has walked with me through some hard times in my life and put me in a job that I had been at for eight years off and on. This job came with security and benefits. I feared leaving this job, but I was dying inside because I couldn’t show my true self and skills. I was going back and forth with looking for a new job for about two years. I became so depressed that my doctor put me on antidepressants. I spoke to many people and I even asked God to send me a sign what I should do.
This job came with security and benefits
The sign came through a voice from a person I didn’t even know who said it’s time to take that leap the faith because you’re holding yourself back. Don’t worry about the security and the benefits. God has been walking with you all this time and he’s not going to let you down now. So I did! I got a great new job with more money than I ever made in my life and I felt good, but I was still taking the meds. As time went on this new great job became the worst great job and just recently, I decided to quit, due to my health. I started having headaches and stomachaches that made me miss a lot of work.
Right before I stopped working, things in that part of my life started to improve and the doctor helped me wean myself off the meds. But I needed out of this job. I quit and then began to regret my decision. Then things started happening that I could have never predicted.
Things started happening that I could have never predicted
See, I was going to start school in November, and it got pushed back five times. As soon as I quit the job, my schooling was approved and I found out I could start in two weeks. My son’s hearing aids are fully covered under a plan I didn’t know I had paid into, and my monthly rent for our apartment actually decreased as I looked for work.
Soon I have an interview working for another school district not too far from my house. I also got a call for a job working for Apple in the subjects I studied in school. The moral of the story is even though I don’t have any income currently, and I didn’t have a backup plan, I am happy. I feel so free of the burdens of failure and disappointment. Not only did I take one leap of faith but multiple ones, and I might end up with a better job then I started off with. I believe you can do anything you want in life, whether it’s stopping drinking or drugs, or finding a new place to work. You can take that leap and know there will be help to support your success while you work to achieve your goals.
One month after the first edition of the Big Book was published back east, I was born in St. Mary’s Hospital in San Francisco in May 1939 to John Flynn and Elizabeth (Stumpf) Flynn. They were both born at the end of the 1800s: dad to two migrants from poverty in Ireland, and mom to two migrants from poverty in Germany. Mom’s dad, it turned out, was a sometimes raging alcoholic. She and her mom and her brothers abandoned him in Montana in 1920 and moved to San Francisco. In 1934 they purchased a gorgeous house at 54 Sea View Terrace in the Sea Cliff District. There were wonderful cocktail parties in the house before dad died in 1949, but I was never attracted to alcohol then. There was a bar-room attached to the Marine Room which overlooked the Golden Gate Bridge, western part of the Presidio, Bakers Beach, part of the Marin headlands, part of Mt. Tam and part of the outer Bay.
There was no alcoholism in the immediate family. Dad’s only brother, my dear Uncle Frank, it turned out, was a maintenance alcoholic who worked for the California State Alcohol Beverage Control Board. So, I inherited alcoholism from both my German side and Irish side. I don’t have any alcoholic stories to tell from my first 22 years in San Francisco. When I left in 1961 I thought I would move back. I was born restless, irritable and discontented, but turned that into positive energy, becoming the top over-all graduate of St. Ignatius High, the top of three Catholic high schools, in 1957.
There were wonderful cocktail parties in the house
My first two years out of San Francisco were spent as an Army Lieutenant on a Nike Hercules anti-aircraft missile site protecting the City of Chicago from Russian bombers. Then in 1963 I studied philosophy at Georgetown University Graduate School trying to find the meaning of life. I didn’t find it, but I fell into a Human Resources career and discovered what a glass of good wine could do for me. I drank for 13 years until I crash-landed into A.A. at a noon-time meeting in Washington, D.C. near the White House on December 7, 1976. I took my last drink the next day.
Sea Cliff
I was born restless, irritable and discontented
I returned to San Francisco frequently over the years with my first wife, second girlfriend, second wife, and now my third wife of 30 years. We always stayed at the Laurel Inn at Presidio and California and have fond memories of our visits. However, my last brother died three years ago and the family house has been sold. Each year more of my classmates passed away, so my wife Kate and I haven’t been back for a few years. My first primary school, Notre Dame des Victoires, is planning a reunion in March for all graduates from the 1950s of the co-ed grade school and girls high school, but with no family left in San Francisco, I may not be up to taking another 12-hour flight.
The last time I was in the City I spoke at the Waterfront Meeting one Sunday evening at the Palace of Fine Arts. I learned that Judge O’Day, the father of the girl I took to my senior prom, turned out to be an alcoholic who got sober in A.A. He had helped get me a job in City Hall in 1957, and started Serenity House not far from USF for alcoholic priests. I have also spoken at Serenity House and enjoyed its welcoming atmosphere.
Today I do service
Our life is mostly in Europe now. I have been invited to speak and lead a Life Reflections workshop at ITALYPAA 2020 in Bologna, Italy at the end of April or the beginning of May. I continue to serve as tech host of online voice meetings out of Europe for the “First164” A.A. group. When asked to be a nominee for the General Service Board of Trustees for English language A.A. in Europe seven years ago, I prepared a service CV. I wasn’t selected, but the interview process was helpful in my spiritual journey.
Today I do service for Médecins Sans Frontières (Doctors Without Borders) headquarters in Brussels as a volunteer teacher, translator and editor. More recently, I published an international newsletter for the Quakers. Life is full for my wife and me now. We are grateful for our health, sobriety and community. Carpe diem! It’s the only day we ever have—today.
Being on active duty in the Navy when I got sober, it was hard for me to establish a home group since I was traveling all over the Pacific during the Vietnam War. I spent my first 13 years in A.A. on active duty attending meetings everywhere I could.
Prior to getting sober, I spent a year and a half on the ship station at Mare Island and eventually transferred to a ship in Long Beach. There I attended my first A.A. meeting on October 15, 1969. One year later I was transferred to a ship in Alameda, Ca. and spent four-and-a-half years attending a meeting at the Five Cities Fellowship in Fremont. My final tour of duty in the Navy was Recruit Training Command in San Diego. My role involved training company commanders or drill instructors, if you like. That experience is responsible for most of the discipline I have in my life today. I retired and bought a home just north of San Diego in the small town of Poway, California.
In 1983 we established an Alano Club
In 1983 I was one of 25 members that established the Poway Alano Club. I eventually got in the habit of attending the 7:00 AM meeting 7 days a week. I consider the Monday through Friday Unconditional A.A. Meeting to be my home group. To be clear, I believe that every A.A. group appeals to certain members of the program. Most alcoholics will attend meetings where they feel comfortable.
I have cycled through quite a few different groups and each of them has resolved an area of my thinking. As I grow in the program, I am drawn to meetings with a literature-based format. The Monday through Wednesday meetings are based on the Daily Reflections. The Thursday morning meeting is a Big Book study, and the Friday morning meeting is a Step and Tradition Study.
Alano Club
We have a core group of old timers that are there every morning. Other members have varying lengths of sobriety. We go around the room in order to allow everyone a chance to share. When an out-of-town visitor shows up at a meeting, they usually share about how comfortable they feel based on the individual shares as we go around the room.
Newcomers do not have to protect their turf
It is very gratifying to watch the progress of newcomers, overwhelmed with typical alcoholic problems, explaining them to the group. Within a month, we see their whole outlook on life change to one of reconstruction and restitution. The maturity of group input, quoting the Big Book and the 12 Steps and Traditions becomes a stronger influence than their own rationalizations. The group has a pattern of not being judgmental about a person acting or displaying symptoms of the disease of alcoholism. They patiently allow the person to assimilate values expressed in the program. Newcomers develop at their own pace. There is a constant air of ego deflation when old timers express the values of the program based on compassion and understanding.
Our goal is to provide a safe environment where newcomers do not have to protect their turf. They can feel safe and stop rationalizing alcoholic behavior. We are blessed with a handful of elder statesmen that set a non-threatening tone that appeals to the newcomers and the occasional visitors. I feel fortunate to be a part of it.
Ursula Le Guin called home an imaginary place. “Home, imagined, comes to be. It is real, realer than any other place, but you can’t get to it unless your people show you how to imagine it—whoever your people are. They may not be your relatives … They are your human community.” Join us and share stories for February about coming home, coming to, and coming to believe in ourselves again.
From the depths of despair to being happy, joyous and free? Bara from Sunset 11’ers on Judah Street talks about redemption we used to think was impossible. But it happens more than most people think. Jym went from being drunk as a lord to finding a home group that worked for him. And met Bree.
Rick wasn’t sure what he asked for guidance: Possibly someone or something looking out for little children and alcoholics. Claire muses how this might happen and breaks down the work in progress. Three other members from San Francisco and Marin, who each like different poetry styles, transition from the brink of hell (John W.) to the grace of memory (Michelle B.) and the infinite beauty of nature (Forrest C.). In A Decision of the Heart, Robert describes the personality change when sanity returns after 30 years of mental obsession. Then just for fun our cartoonist this month, John P., imagines Sylvester the Cat finding help at Birds Anonymous. If home is where the heart is, the rooms were where many of us found it again.
Went to see a Dr. John show at Battery Park in New York on July 4th, drunk as a lord. I went to buy a tall boy and ran into a policewoman working the bar for charity. She was the prettiest cop I’d ever seen. She looked better in her uniform than any of New York’s finest. It fit her perfectly. I started rapping a bit with her and she fell for it, hook, line and sinker.
I hassled her and asked, “When are you off?” Then I gave her my number and said, “I want to see you again.” Meanwhile her sergeant gave me a look that said leave her alone, so I made a quick escape. I never, ever expected to hear from her, but she called. Our next date was to an arty movie. I can’t remember the movie’s name, but her name was Sylvia. That was the last and only time she saw me drunk.
I’d been quitting my drinking and failing for a while. In New York, at that time, you couldn’t buy liquor on a Sunday, so I’d buy a fifth of tequila on Saturday night. The shopkeeper would say, “You know we’re closed tomorrow,” as a warning to stock up. I’d buy my liquor in different stores, so they wouldn’t know how much I was drinking.
Jimi had no Y, so I traded in my I for his Y
There were many episodes where I tried to stop but always went back. But when I met Sylvia, the cop, that was it. I had no interest in drinking from that day on. I stopped and went to meetings religiously. When I had about two weeks of sobriety, I saw that same shopkeeper on the avenue. He waved me over wanting me to buy something, but I told him I wasn’t drinking. Guess he thought I’d be back as in the past.
The first year I went to a men’s group. It became my home group. They met once a week and that first year I went to 51 of those meetings. Figure I went to 360 meetings that first year. The one time I missed was when we went out of town. Sylvia made sure I went to meetings. She’d take me and wait outside.
Collect a couple numbers every meeting and call that person to tell them thanks
Sylvia was a significant harbinger of my future sobriety. We got along wonderfully for a long time and then we didn’t. It was one of those come here, go away relationships. We’re still friends but she has her life back east now and I have mine.
Two years ago, I had an aortic dissection. It’s a miracle I’m still alive. UCSF saved my life. I had been in a blackout out on my floor for three days with a broken shoulder earlier this year and my neighbor found me. I had surgery and am now better.
Today I don’t attend as many meetings as in the past, but I still go. My highest week was 16 meetings including Al-Anon and A.A. I sponsor people. I’m not a helicopter sponsor but I collect a couple numbers every meeting and call that person to tell them thanks for giving me their number.
It’s not what I did but what I do today
My professional life is more interesting than my sober life. I had a weekly radio show as a rock journalist and did a bunch of specials. I did about 60 shows a year, writing and producing. I hung out with rock stars mostly through my work and as a “harp player” (playing my harmonica). I’ve played with many of the best rock musicians and interviewed them as well. I took my name Jym in honor of Jimi Hendrix. Jimi had no Y, so I traded in my “I” for his “Y.”
My sobriety date is September 9, 1999 (9-9-99). As my son now tells me about my drinking, “That’s what you did, but not what you do today.” This keeps me in the present. Today I’m in an entirely new place and thankful.
I watch the ocean, Not a wave folding the same, White foam marbled swirls.
photos by forrest c.
As hard as I look I cannot see tomorrow Thank you for today.
Set free your worries We cannot see tomorrow Just live for today.
I watch patiently The horizon calls my soul I know you are here.
The 5th Floor by Michelle B.
On my way to 5th floor memory care Where my mom continues to lose her memory I get to meet all the residents I feel like I’m in a John Steinbeck novel
Mac walks the halls He wanders into Paul’s room I hear Paul yelling at Mac Get out, get out, it’s my room I go and guide Mac Out of the room and down the hallway With the help of another resident Elsie
Elsie has a boyfriend at the last place she stayed He calls to talk with her She tells the staff She will call him tomorrow She can’t be bothered
My Mom tells everyone who visits She lives in a shopping center In her room They all try on her hats She tells them just wear one And you will want to buy one
We run into Tom who is new He seems lost I ask him if he is looking for his room He tells me “I’m just looking for something real”
Beautiful Faye perfectly coiffed hair and make up Only wants to wear skirts no pants She looks like Debbie Reynolds She calls out from the living room Miss Miss Miss She calls everyone Miss
Bobbi looks after my Mom They are friends They hold hands She tells me when my Mom falls asleep at the table She uses a knife to bang on the table to wake my Mom
In the dining room while everyone is eating their lunch I ask each one at the table What is your favorite dance Faye says, the waltz Bobbie says the swing Lynn says Country Western
Then I ask what is your favorite movie? Faye says Gone with the Wind Then everyone says Gone with the Wind
I ask what is your favorite music?
Faye says, the waltz Bobbie says the swing Lynn says Country Western
Birdie is sweet She is from Ireland I think she is my favorite One day she was upset I asked the staff why she was upset They said someone sat in her place at lunch
She went to her room and didn’t want to eat Sitting in “her seat” Is important to her It might be one of the few things she remembers
My Mom is sitting with several ladies On the back deck having lunch Everyone is wearing a hat and has their nails painted bright beautiful colors When we are leaving to go back to her room She thanks one of the workers for the nice party
June is in her wheel chair She is tiny She holds my hand Sometimes she smiles She notices the heart-shaped lanyard I am wearing She likes it saying it will attract a man
My Mom likes her apartment It is her world now I fill her room with things she loves Trying to make it feel like her home Poetry books Her art Albums of her life Photographs of her second husband Tony Her nine sisters Her kids and grandchildren Hats Scarfs
Every Thursday Is non-alcoholic Happy hour I found the only bottles of non-alcoholic red wine At the Safeway down the road I bought all 6 bottles
The ladies sit outside The staff serves their drinks And hors d’oeuvres It’s like a scene from a 50’s movie
She asks me where I am living Tells me I can get an apartment there too She asks me if anyone is living in her home I say no
In the living room everyone is watching the news depressing I ask why the news The staff says because they are all waiting for wheel of fortune to come on the TV.
My mom has been leaving us for so many years Now she needs to be here In a place where she is safe Not in the home she loves I can’t tell her we have to sell her home to pay for this new home
My mom has been leaving us for so many years Now she needs to be here In a place where she is safe Not in the home she loves I can’t tell her we have to sell her home to pay for this new home
In the living room there is dance music playing Joan is dancing by herself She signals me to come and dance with her We dance and giggle Everyone is the room is smiling and laughing
Everyday I’m filled with sadness Letting go of my Mom Letting all the staff become her new family I’m cleaning out her home Getting ready to put it on the market I feel like the enemy
This is the new world For all these lovely people Who had lives Ted told me he was an engineer Thelma worked for the County Beth used to make jams and jellies Connie was a nurse Elsie was a dancer Beth has two daughters A gathering of lost memories
A Big Rock
by John W.
He awoke as the new day dawned
To face his life or death choice
He had bottomed out so long ago
or was it yesterday?
The simplicity of his decision,
belied the difficulty to see it through
The boulder was large
Easily as tall as he it seemed
Its surface smooth, like
polished steel
A big rock, a perfect sphere, he
called it sobriety
Each morning it was the same
just he and his rock
With measured step, he assumed his
position
The heat from hell in the
depths behind him
Already provoked his fear of
possible failure
As was his custom when he
started his task anew each day
His thoughts turned first to family
To a loyal and supportive spouse
he had driven away
To those beautiful children he
had alienated
Over time he had learned to
recall his past without regret
For he knew now he could alter none
of it.
In those days long gone, his will
alone had not been enough.
His disease had been too cunning,
too baffling, too powerful.
As she started to push her sphere
called sobriety
The strength surged within her,
she loved that feeling
She loved it more than her life,
for it had saved her,
It had snatched her from the brink
of hell
Nor had her higher power
forsaken her
Even when she went out, even
when she had slipped.
For she had remembered to ask
for help
And she had spoken the word thy
will not mine
Was it the sun that was high
overhead, she did not know.
Did it even matter she thought
as her goal was in sight
Still she toiled hard, as day
was becoming night
Always pushing, pushing that rock
up the hill of today
As if on cue she heard them, the voices.
First softly, then building to
a crescendo,
She knew each by their unique
tone.
She recalled their phone calls
and visits, as if they were yesterday.
Some had met the challenge, she
smiled while she pushed,
But she remembered too, those
who had shortcut the steps.
The dissonance bespoke their failure,
not hers,
For she had known their hell
and wanted it no longer.
Still they pushed their rocks
upward, their goal was at hand
As the sun began to set, they
doubled their efforts
This day they had each escaped their
devil’s grasp
This day they had each tapped the
divine, to live not die
Elated for this day well-lived
Exhausted, for each had labored
without rest
To move their rock, and to help
others
Who were moving theirs, to the top
of the hill of today.
Each had indeed earned their chip
for their feat
In the peace of contentment
Each collapsed in the bosom of their
serenity
Their dreams were bliss, their sleep
sublime.
She awoke as the New Day dawned
Just her and her rock, she
called it sobriety
The heat from hell in the depths
behind her
She pushed her rock up the hill
of today, one step at a time
