Haiku
by Forrest C.
I watch the ocean,
Not a wave folding the same,
White foam marbled swirls.
As hard as I look
I cannot see tomorrow
Thank you for today.
Set free your worries
We cannot see tomorrow
Just live for today.
I watch patiently
The horizon calls my soul
I know you are here.
The 5th Floor
by Michelle B.
On my way to 5th floor memory care
Where my mom continues to lose her memory
I get to meet all the residents
I feel like I’m in a John Steinbeck novel
Mac walks the halls
He wanders into Paul’s room
I hear Paul yelling at Mac
Get out, get out, it’s my room
I go and guide Mac
Out of the room and down the hallway
With the help of another resident Elsie
Elsie has a boyfriend at the last place she stayed
He calls to talk with her
She tells the staff
She will call him tomorrow
She can’t be bothered
My Mom tells everyone who visits
She lives in a shopping center
In her room
They all try on her hats
She tells them just wear one
And you will want to buy one
We run into Tom who is new
He seems lost
I ask him if he is looking for his room
He tells me “I’m just looking for something real”
Beautiful Faye perfectly coiffed hair and make up
Only wants to wear skirts no pants
She looks like Debbie Reynolds
She calls out from the living room
Miss Miss Miss
She calls everyone Miss
Bobbi looks after my Mom
They are friends
They hold hands
She tells me when my Mom falls asleep at the table
She uses a knife to bang on the table to wake my Mom
In the dining room while everyone is eating their lunch
I ask each one at the table
What is your favorite dance
Faye says, the waltz
Bobbie says the swing
Lynn says Country Western
Then I ask what is your favorite movie?
Faye says Gone with the Wind
Then everyone says Gone with the Wind
I ask what is your favorite music?
Faye says, the waltz
Bobbie says the swing
Lynn says Country Western
Birdie is sweet
She is from Ireland
I think she is my favorite
One day she was upset
I asked the staff why she was upset
They said someone sat in her place at lunch
She went to her room and didn’t want to eat
Sitting in “her seat”
Is important to her
It might be one of the few things she remembers
My Mom is sitting with several ladies
On the back deck having lunch
Everyone is wearing a hat and has their nails painted bright beautiful colors
When we are leaving to go back to her room
She thanks one of the workers for the nice party
June is in her wheel chair
She is tiny
She holds my hand
Sometimes she smiles
She notices the heart-shaped lanyard I am wearing
She likes it saying it will attract a man
My Mom likes her apartment
It is her world now
I fill her room with things she loves
Trying to make it feel like her home
Poetry books
Her art
Albums of her life
Photographs of her second husband Tony
Her nine sisters
Her kids and grandchildren
Hats
Scarfs
Every Thursday
Is non-alcoholic
Happy hour
I found the only bottles of non-alcoholic red wine
At the Safeway down the road
I bought all 6 bottles
The ladies sit outside
The staff serves their drinks
And hors d’oeuvres
It’s like a scene from a 50’s movie
She asks me where I am living
Tells me I can get an apartment there too
She asks me if anyone is living in her home
I say no
In the living room everyone is watching the news
depressing
I ask why the news
The staff says because they are all waiting for wheel of fortune to come on the TV.
My mom has been leaving us for so many years
Now she needs to be here
In a place where she is safe
Not in the home she loves
I can’t tell her we have to sell her home to pay for this new home
My mom has been leaving us for so many years
Now she needs to be here
In a place where she is safe
Not in the home she loves
I can’t tell her we have to sell her home to pay for this new home
In the living room there is dance music playing
Joan is dancing by herself
She signals me to come and dance with her
We dance and giggle
Everyone is the room is smiling and laughing
Everyday I’m filled with sadness
Letting go of my Mom
Letting all the staff become her new family
I’m cleaning out her home
Getting ready to put it on the market
I feel like the enemy
This is the new world
For all these lovely people
Who had lives
Ted told me he was an engineer
Thelma worked for the County
Beth used to make jams and jellies
Connie was a nurse
Elsie was a dancer
Beth has two daughters
A gathering of lost memories
A Big Rock
by John W.
He awoke as the new day dawned
To face his life or death choice
He had bottomed out so long ago or was it yesterday?
The simplicity of his decision, belied the difficulty to see it through
The boulder was large
Easily as tall as he it seemed
Its surface smooth, like polished steel
A big rock, a perfect sphere, he called it sobriety
Each morning it was the same just he and his rock
With measured step, he assumed his position
The heat from hell in the depths behind him
Already provoked his fear of possible failure
As was his custom when he started his task anew each day
His thoughts turned first to family
To a loyal and supportive spouse he had driven away
To those beautiful children he had alienated
Over time he had learned to recall his past without regret
For he knew now he could alter none of it.
In those days long gone, his will alone had not been enough.
His disease had been too cunning, too baffling, too powerful.
As she started to push her sphere called sobriety
The strength surged within her, she loved that feeling
She loved it more than her life, for it had saved her,
It had snatched her from the brink of hell
Nor had her higher power forsaken her
Even when she went out, even when she had slipped.
For she had remembered to ask for help
And she had spoken the word thy will not mine
Was it the sun that was high overhead, she did not know.
Did it even matter she thought as her goal was in sight
Still she toiled hard, as day was becoming night
Always pushing, pushing that rock up the hill of today
As if on cue she heard them, the voices.
First softly, then building to a crescendo,
She knew each by their unique tone.
She recalled their phone calls and visits, as if they were yesterday.
Some had met the challenge, she smiled while she pushed,
But she remembered too, those who had shortcut the steps.
The dissonance bespoke their failure, not hers,
For she had known their hell and wanted it no longer.
Still they pushed their rocks upward, their goal was at hand
As the sun began to set, they doubled their efforts
This day they had each escaped their devil’s grasp
This day they had each tapped the divine, to live not die
Elated for this day well-lived
Exhausted, for each had labored without rest
To move their rock, and to help others
Who were moving theirs, to the top of the hill of today.
Each had indeed earned their chip for their feat
In the peace of contentment
Each collapsed in the bosom of their serenity
Their dreams were bliss, their sleep sublime.
She awoke as the New Day dawned
Just her and her rock, she called it sobriety
The heat from hell in the depths behind her
She pushed her rock up the hill of today, one step at a time
Dedicated to Kathy B., 20 years and counting
