by Marcello C-B
“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.” This was not a hard decision for me to make as I started with step one, then followed with two and finally step three. In my mind, when I started to do the third step I thought it was impossible, just too hard. After all we are charged with putting one foot in front of the other until we bring ourselves to turn over our will and our lives to a higher power. Once this step has been accomplished all the others will begin to fall into place.
My path to understanding God this time around was very open minded. I took him into my heart willingly. From that moment on he has continued to be in my life to the fullest. Many aspects haven’t been easy because my past decisions have not been the best. Today I continue to separate myself from the people, places and things that corrupted me in the past. I’m grateful for that today.
I thought I was dependent on people until I studied more and examined the idea thoroughly. New doors open up, and they continue to open up widely. In reality I’m not dependent on certain people I thought were in my life. The reality is that I have been depending on myself since I was 17. Most of my past dependence revolved around women, so I’ve now gone without being in a relationship for awhile now. This is a great way to break the dependency habit. Perhaps I depended on women because to me they seem softer, more in touch with emotion in their own way.
Doors that were once shut have opened
I have been working on getting my act together for a while, consequences have hit and I recognize them today. Now I am more in touch with my own emotions. Truth be told, you can’t move forward if you’re going to continue to carry the junk from the past. This is the main reason why we do a thorough, balanced fourth step.
Doors that were once shut have either opened up or just stayed shut, which is OK. I know nothing good can come from some of the ones that stayed shut. For example, my girlfriend and I had to part ways because we were hurting each other. When we were together, we were like a ticking time bomb.
On the positive side, a lot of doors have opening, like having a place to live, getting a vehicle, credit, having my family back in my life, and bigger dreams. What were once only dreams are reality today thanks to the steps.