Entirely Ready
by Dee H
When I am a better person I won’t harm myself
Are you ready? I am entirely ready.
Pride, anger, fear—feelings come up
Self righteousness, sloth, too lazy to clarify
Resentment kicks up the dirty dirt
Defects of character? Yes?
More gently put—homeostatic imbalance
Maudlin guilt is exhausting when you’re sober
Let us change our uncomfortable story
This too shall pass my dear
A vicious cycle, this wallowing in self-pity
How dare you remove my endearing characteristics!
Does anyone love me because I am a perfect person?
You love me in spite of things, don’t you?
Watch me manipulate my way to God
This is a learning disability
Delay is dangerous—perhaps fatal
My body likes what it likes
I now relinquish the need to harm myself
Everything is God’s
I am part of the greater reality
Everything and almost nothing
A tiny dot in the macrocosm
I need not fear loss nor trespass
I belong to God
(I need objective correlatives)
Would my life be easy if I were perfect?
In my disease I am right you are wrong
The tall Redwoods in my yard are beautiful in their imperfection
Not every brown pine cone sprouts seeds
But the trees’ faults will not kill them
They bend toward the light
It is not I who removes my defects
God shows me what they are and removes them
Recovery is an education—a blueprint to remove suffering
Quicker amidst this Group Of Drunks
Thanks to my fellow travelers
Our goal is enjoyment in service
I write to experience God’s mercy
It’s a privilege to have this time
Delay is dangerous—perhaps fatal
Would you like to help me write a poem?
Share your story with me!
What was it like? What happened?
We can shift how we hold things
