Entirely Ready

by Dee H

When I am a better person I won’t harm myself

Are you ready? I am entirely ready. 

Pride, anger, fear—feelings come up

Self righteousness, sloth, too lazy to clarify

Resentment kicks up the dirty dirt


Defects of character? Yes?

More gently put—homeostatic imbalance

Maudlin guilt is exhausting when you’re sober

Let us change our uncomfortable story 

This too shall pass my dear


A vicious cycle, this wallowing in self-pity

How dare you remove my endearing characteristics! 

Does anyone love me because I am a perfect person? 

You love me in spite of things, don’t you?

Watch me manipulate my way to God


This is a learning disability

Delay is dangerous—perhaps fatal

My body likes what it likes

I now relinquish the need to harm myself


Everything is God’s

I am part of the greater reality

Everything and almost nothing

A tiny dot in the macrocosm

I need not fear loss nor trespass

I belong to God


(I need objective correlatives)


Would my life be easy if I were perfect?

In my disease I am right you are wrong

The tall Redwoods in my yard are beautiful in their imperfection

Not every brown pine cone sprouts seeds

But the trees’ faults will not kill them

They bend toward the light


It is not I who removes my defects

God shows me what they are and removes them 

Recovery is an education—a blueprint to remove suffering 

Quicker amidst this Group Of Drunks

Thanks to my fellow travelers

Our goal is enjoyment in service


I write to experience God’s mercy

It’s a privilege to have this time

Delay is dangerous—perhaps fatal

Would you like to help me write a poem? 

Share your story with me!

What was it like? What happened?

We can shift how we hold things

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